Ten Signs You’re on Vacation in South Central Wisconsin

Even True Projectophiles need a vacation.  My project this week?  Spending a romantic long weekend alone with the husband, biking our way through the green, cow-spotted hills of South Central Wisconsin.

Every traveler relies on signs to guide her through unknown territory.  A good sign communicates its message across language and cultural barriers, and may just bring a smile to wandering sign-o-philes like us.

We started our journey on a Chicago-to-Madison bus, and were delighted to find that the bus’ tiny bathroom was rich in signage.

There are two buttons in this bathroom.  One flushes the toilet. The other stops the bus. Choose wisely.
IMG_1590Scott thinks the one below means:  “Gentleman, please sit down to urinate.”
My interpretation?   “Sad men in fedoras must not watch each other poop.”
WP_20130707_004When we finally arrived in our host town, Scott and I were a little shocked to find that the townspeople are divided into two distinct groups:  Charter Members, and OTHERS.
charter members othersThe town itself was quite welcoming, but there are a few rules here, especially about whom you can and cannot touch:
WP_20130705_021More rules? Well, SHIT.  Guess I better take my @#$%& potty mouth to the next &*$# town over.
IMG_1572The electricity here seems to be stronger,  meaner and more aggressive than what we’ve got at home, based on how many warning signs we found.
WP_20130705_026Though there are also much friendlier types of electricity here.  This one may just try to tickle you while you cheer it on:
WP_20130705_027Most people assume that Cheese dominates the Wisconsin economy. However, many of the town’s transactions are actually conducted with rhubarb:

WP_20130705_018

Kickstarter hasn’t made it to this part of the world yet.

But watch out — there is a seedy underbelly to the area economy.   If you thought human trafficking wasn’t a problem in South Central Wisconsin, you’d be dead wrong:

When will we quit treating innocent Area Sports Men like commodities that can be bought and sold?

When will we quit treating innocent Area Sports Men like commodities that can be bought and sold?

Someone in this town is fully armed, and really has a grudge against complicated school bus stop signs:
IMG_1582
No, look closer. That really is a bullet hole.
IMG_1584And speaking of seediness…  I’m not much of a gambler, but when it comes to Christmas in July, it’s double-or-nothing! Wait, make that triple-or-nothing!
WP_20130705_031Of course, I couldn’t resist making a sign of my own.  Especially after a twig jumped in my spokes and sent me flying over the handlebars, covering the left half of my body in bruises and road rash.
IMG_1600The good news is that 1) the majority of South Central Cheeseheads own pickup trucks, and 2) that hitchhiking is still a legitimate form of transportation. 

All you need is the right sign.

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3 thoughts on “Ten Signs You’re on Vacation in South Central Wisconsin

  1. Clare, last time I was on a bus there was a sign on the bus forbidding you from pooping in the toilet. Only pee was allowed. The sign said, if you had to poop you needed to ask the bus driver to stop. “Hey bus driver guy, can you pull over, I gotta take a crap?” I bet that got a lot of takers.

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    • Wow, that is fantastic. I would love to see a picture of that sign. I wonder how you could represent such a rule only in graphics, without using words? This particular bus had a TINY bathroom, smaller than a porta-potty, with a porta-potty-style toilet, and only a Purell dispenser instead of a sink. I can see why they want the gentleman to sit down to go.

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