So, you Dream of Killing your Kids? The 26 Most Bizarre Google Searches that Brought you Here

Today, I’m celebrating Projectophile’s 26th post!  Sure, most people celebrate the 25th incident of something, but I got sidetracked by the Poor Man’s Barcelona Chair, and was compelled to mess with that project first.

precious moments 25 years_26And yes, blogging about blogging is as uninspired as writing about writing.  Or dancing about dancing. Or, fill in your own [VERB] about [SAME VERB IN GERUND FORM].

But enough talking about blogging about blogging. Let’s talk about my blog!

Six months, 26 posts and 300,000+ visitors later, I’d say it’s going pretty well — as far as unpaid work goes.  But the only way to get paid is to run ads.  And I get most of my project supplies from Your-ad-hereplaces that don’t regularly advertise, like the alley or the thrift store or neighborhood yard sales.

But even if this blog never makes a dime, it has given me the richest reward of all:  Laughing at other people.  You see, WordPress provides me with a daily list of the search terms that were used to find this blog.

Now, most of you found Projectophile from a link on Facebook (are any of you on Twitter?), or Apartment Therapy, or — for a terrifying week in April – former Bush speechwriter David Frum’s blog on the Daily Beast. Hi NRA members and weird government conspiracy theorists! Love you!  No need to shoot. 


David Frum: Just another sockless, secretly Canadian conservative pundit who loves Projectophile.

But a whole lot of you found my little corner of the internet through good old fashioned Googling. I’d like to think that – even though this wasn’t exactly what you were looking for – you never regretted clicking that link.

And based on WordPress stats, it appears that most of you Googlers are a severely paranoid bunch.  At least half of your Google searches are some variation of the question “Is Craigslist Dangerous?” *  In second place are those of you who want to know if Modern Design is Dangerous (it is).  And a small minority of you want to know about Grandpas, or Waterbeds or Death or Jim Croce (who, coincidentally, died on a waterbed with his grandpa).
INFOGRAPH_26google searchesTo celebrate my 26th post, I’ve handpicked the search terms that have brought me the most side-splitting (and head-scratching) giggles over these last six months. Let’s see just how strange my new readers actually are!

Top 26 Most Bizarre Search Terms that Brought You to Projectophile:

  1. Black lacquer oriental armoire with forest scene
  2. IKEA cabinets are moldy
  3. Trauma therapy dolls
  4. Brady Bunch staircase unsafe?
  5. Dream about killing your kids
  6. Refinishing bowling alley
  7. Hidden meanings on Craigslist couch
  8. Bedroom space odyssey
  9. How to make a standing desk from milk crates
  10. Plastic-covered living room
  11. Jim Croce adjectives to describe furniture
  12. Can little kids dream about older kids for no reason?
  13. Peach Victorian living room set
  14. Who loves outsider art?
  15. Craigslist waterbeds
  16. What means chiropteraphile?**
  17. Health hazards of modern paintings in households
  18. Live the modernist dream
  19. Respiratory system diagram
  20. Children’s architecture hidden in the adult word
  21. Grandpa
  22. Refrigerator art therapy
  23. Can’t reach desk!
  24. Bad houses for kids funny
  25. Utah Mormon Mid-century modern architecture
  26. I don’t like modern homes
  27. Do kids jump off indoor banisters?
  28. A house designed to kill people
  29. Choppy bowl cut

* The answer is, “Only if you consider ugly furniture and flaky buyers without exact change to be dangerous.” 

** Yeah, I had to look it up as well.  This is a misspelling of chiropterophily, a term that botanists use to describe flowers which are primarily pollinated by bats.  Bat-pollinated flowers are light-colored, open at night and have strong odors. Did you know that bats can identify nectar-producing flowers using echolocation?


5 thoughts on “So, you Dream of Killing your Kids? The 26 Most Bizarre Google Searches that Brought you Here

  1. Thank you for the definition for chiropteraphile. I did however have to look up gerund.
    Besides that, congrats on your “big 26”!
    Love your posts. btw I found your site through a site from a site from a site. Original site has long been forgotten.


    • That’s why they (used to) call it the World Wide Web. You get so tangled up you can’t figure out how you got there or how to get out! I guess the word “Internet” would also describe that phenomenon. Or Endless Hole of Wonder.


  2. I am not alone with the weird search terms. Thank goodness. The strangest search term used to find my blog was “Having sex with a vampire with a monkey on your knee.”
    Fun article. Thanks!


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