Hello, my Love. It’s so nice to see you again. You work so hard, it’s time to relax and sit down; … No, not in the kitchen – those chairs are too uncomfortable. Come to the living room and put your feet up. Have I told you how good your feet look in socks? You could be a world-famous sock model.*
Ooh, oh, careful, my Darling! Mind that braid of cables under your feet! Don’t bump into that institutional-looking roller table, or the projector that I borrowed from the neighbor.
Why the projector? Oh, well, I thought tonight we could enjoy a little homemade media, if you know what I mean. WHAT!? Um…. no, that’s not a sex thing. It’s actually… a PowerPoint Presentation.
No, wait, don’t leave! Sip on this Armenian Brandy and… hold on a second. So, the red light means it’s ON? Or it’s broken? Now it’s off? Maybe if I jiggle this cable. Where does this one go? It’s plugged in here, but then the end is just dangling…Well, for the love of Baldur,* who the hell designed this, WHAT THE F… Oh, Ok. Here we go.
SPOILER ALERT: HE SAID YES!
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* But not a nude foot model, because of that perma-corn. And toenails made of PVC.
** Baldur is the Norse god of beauty, innocence, peace, and rebirth. So, basically the opposite of PowerPoint.
projectophile 
First off, Eww to the first footnote. Secondly, you weren’t joking about it being a powerpoint presentation. Nice slides 🙂 Thirdly, I assumed you meant another use of the word “stool”…but stayed because my wife and I too bought a fixer upper! Nice blog! 🙂
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Gasp! You spent actual money on NEW furniture? Who are you, and what have you done with the Projectophile…? Seriously, though, fabulous stools and they blend well stylistically with the slightly vintage vibe going on in your kitchen. Did he do what everyone does during PPT presentations, and furtively play with his cellphone, or was he riveted by your amazingly, um, *vivid* graphics?
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Yes, I was afraid I would lose all street (internet) cred by telling the story of buying new things. HOWEVER, I did my due diligence and searched Craigslist for more than three months before I determined that the sellers of used items in Chicagoland simply did not have the products that I desired. Do you have Craigslist in Australia?
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We do, but it’s very limited; the nearest centre is Cairns, which is an 8-hour drive away! We tend to look at Gumtree, or for truly local ads, the Mackay Pocket Trader, which is a fabulous source of hilarity from time to time.
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Coolio! New things are so much fun, especially when you can find them on a really great sale!
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This is hilarious! I’m convinced.
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Squee. They are uber cool.
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